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PostPosted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 4:56 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2006 8:04 pm
Posts: 6794
Location: Essex

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a 20 pence piece. She said, 'You gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.'
She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change..

Do not confuse the clerks at MacDonald's.


We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a moment, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two..'

We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park, near Watford.


I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the
Highways Department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign
On our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road! I don't
Think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

Story from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire.


My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken and ordered a Taco. She
Asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg Lettuce.

From South Oxhey, Hertfordshire.


I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
Knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I
know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened at Luton Airport


The traffic light on the corner buzzes when it's on red and safe to cross the
road. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She is a Local County Council employee in Harrow, Middlesex.


When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our
Car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
Driver's door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
Handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'its open!'
His reply: 'I know. I already did that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans, Hertfordshire.

They walk among us...


Bearded Dragon: Fiona
R.I.P Shrek and Stumpy - you are sadly missed.

For articles and useful information about how to care for Bearded Dragons visit the main site:

PostPosted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 5:22 pm 

Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 2:14 pm
Posts: 201
Location: Bognor Regis, UK
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I laughed out loud at EVERY one of those!!!

Sad but true they do walk among us!

PostPosted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 10:04 pm 

Joined: Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:54 pm
Posts: 6975
Location: West Yorkshire,England
They certainly do! Somedays it feels as though I'm surrounded by them..... :lol: :lol:


1 beardie - Oz born @ 5th March 2008
Son / daughter - Joshua & Jessica
1 dog - Blackie
Guinea pig Jasper, Rabbit Daisy

PostPosted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 9:25 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2008 5:37 pm
Posts: 8188
Location: Macclesfield, Cheshire
Its a bit scary to think they are out there :shock:


Bearded Dragon:
Felix born 5/11/08
Bob born 25/12/07 Died 17/1/09 RIP
Hubby and 2 children: Ian, Sophie and Emily
Cats: Suzie and Sheba
Corn snake: Maxxie born 6/8/11


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